A few weeks ago, I took a poll on my IG asking if my followers would rather get a taste of the PORTRAIT OF A HAUNTING playlist, or an AMA post, or both. I never want to spam your inbox with too many newsletters, so I waited a bit to cobble this together, but I’m here with you today to share BOTH!
There were so many great questions, and I’ve chosen ten to answer honestly.
Let’s get into it…
Q: What was your inspiration for the novel, and where did you get the idea?
A: Typically, I’m inspired by a mental image or a fleeting character, but PORTRAIT came to me while I was sitting on the subway heading home from work one day. The NYC transit system is busy and strange and puts you in a position to see a LOT of weird things. But because we’re New Yorkers, we’re trained not to react. We’ve seen it all. One day, I saw a girl enter a car, almost skipping and dancing as she went. She’d lean down and get close to people, NONE of whom reacted, and after a few minutes she moved to the next car. No one looked up once. As though she wasn’t there, as though she were a ghost. It sparked a random thought: what if it was? What if I was the only one to see it?
From there, the idea took shape pretty quickly. I knew I wanted my main character to resent her ability, to fear it, but I needed a reason why. What could make someone shun something so unique? And then, what could I take away from her to make her accept it?
Over time I’ve learned that my best work, the work that people connect with, happens when I put a piece of myself in the words. While I pondered what I could do to make (yet another) ghost story unique, I had the idea of using my own background, my own experience, of growing up with a mother in prison, to craft Tatum’s character and her choices. The book fell into place after that.
Q: Do you come up with characters or plot first?
A: Characters, always characters. I could tell you Tatum’s entire life story, her mother’s story, the details about her friends, her job, her favorite band and her psychological trauma before I could figure out who the VILLAIN was. I knew what her journey was, I knew what the catalyst for her own change would be, but fine-tuning the mystery took some time. Before I start a draft, I try to at least have my characters outlined, and I usually always know the beginning, the middle, and the end.
Q: What do you love most about your debut and your journey to your debut?
A: The timing of this book and story in particular. The book was meant to be something I did simply because I love writing, but it became so much more. I went on an entire grief journey writing it. In less than a year I finished it, got an agent, and sold. I won’t say too much about why it’s so personal (aside from the obvious and already stated above reason) at this time. In the future, I’ll probably talk about it, but for now I want to keep the biggest reason close.
I love these characters, I love the world, I’m very very proud of the story I got to tell and I’m grateful for everyone that cheered me on.
Q: How do you find time to write when working a day job?
A: I have learned to write literally anywhere. At my desk at home, in a communal space at work, at a cafe, on a park bench, on the floor. I mark days in planner which will be writing days, and I mark off days. If I’ve finished an edit on a project, I don’t touch it for a few days or even weeks if it’s with CPs. I use my off time to daydream, to read, to fill my creative well.
That way, when I get thirty minutes on a Monday, I can use them for everything they’re worth!
Q: What is an art medium (song, photograph, piece of art) that feels like your book?
A: I don’t typically use moodboards until I’m halfway through a draft, or until the draft is done. But I DO create playlists before I even start writing. Music is massive for me; it’s what sets the tone and how I evoke emotion in my words. To pick one song feels blashphemous but I’ll say:
Foxglove by Boston Manor and all my ghosts by Lizzy McAlpine (both of which are on the playlist xo)
Q: What has been your favorite part of the process so far?
A: That’s easy: writing. Always. I love drafting and revising for separate reasons. Drafting because it’s new, exciting, and there’s no stake in it. I embrace the hot mess express when I draft – I just don’t let anyone read it for a while. I love revising because that’s when it all comes together. That’s where your characters sharpen and the ideas start to line up. I’ve loved working with my editor because her notes show me just how well she understands this book. I’ve loved watching the story evolve in ways I never thought possible. I’m very lucky!!
Q: What is your favorite line in PORTRAIT OF A HAUNTING?
A: This is HARD because I really do love so many lines in the book and sometimes, while revising, I’d find a line that became my new favorite. For now, though, I’ll use a line from the first chapter to tease you a bit:
“Tatum was their beacon, their lighthouse, calling them out of their personal abyss, no matter how much she wished the terrible light inside her would burn out.”
Q: Is it weird to be perceived after announcing the deal?
A: This is a fantastic question! Shout out to Amy for asking it! The truth is, I learned very young that I couldn’t control people’s perception of me.
I could do everything right, and it wouldn’t be enough to change someone’s opinion. All I could do was show up, be myself, and own my own truth. I think, because I learned that so young, I don’t really put a lot of stake in other people’s perception of me. That’s not to say I don’t care. Of course I do, I’m human – even the caveman wanted to be liked. We’re biologically programmed that way, because community equals survival. I mean to say, I do my best to show up as myself and I hope people see that before anything else.
I think we believe that the book deal changes everything, and it does to a degree, but it also doesn’t. I’m still the same Madison who’s been a writer since she was seven years old. I’m still working my day job because I want to. This book moved quickly, but I queried for four years. I wrote five books before I signed with my agent.
I’m the same, but now I get to watch my dream come true. My hope is that I project that as much as possible, so that the perception of me is in line with who I am. If I can’t, I have to let that go. If you spend your time worried about controlling perception, you’ll never move forward. You’ll stay exactly the same.
Q: What is your best querying advice?
A: Remember that rejection is part of the process, and you have to keep moving. When I started querying a book, I started drafting another. When I got a rejection, I sent another query. Being in the traditional publishing industry, in ANY art industry, means to some degree you have to hustle a bit. Learn to pitch your book in thirty seconds. Find critique partners who will be honest with you. Be knowledgeable on not just your genre, but others as well.
Mostly, you have to believe in yourself to an almost delusional degree. I’ve said this a few times but: no matter what you do in life, especially when pursuing a dream like this one, you have to believe in yourself more than anyone else believes in you. Of course, your family and friends and CPs will believe, but YOU have to believe the most. There will come a time (or times) when the little voice in your head says it’ll never happen, or it’s not worth it, or you’re not good enough. And if that voice gets too loud, the only person who can silence it is you.
That’s my biggest advice. If you want something and you work for it, you have to believe, always, no matter what.
Q: What are you working on next?
A: I can’t say too much, but I will share a little pitch and moodboard x
PROJECT STEELE is a MERMAIDS by Florence + the Machine meets KILL BILL noir-inspired, horror romance where women who are murdered by their husbands are reborn as Sirens with the strength and ability to hunt and kill society’s worst men. When one woman finds herself continually reborn in the same city, she must search for the reason why with the help of the one man her powers don’t work on.
Finally, it is with great pride and joy that I share a curated PORTRAIT OF A HAUNTING playlist. I hope you enjoy x
There are things perculating in the background; fun things and exciting things that I can’t wait to discuss, but for now I’ll say goodbye and I’m grateful always
xo M