I’m drafting this newsletter on February 4th, and as of right now, my debut novel PORTRAIT OF A HAUNTING has been out on submission for almost three weeks! The book is a grounded fantasy that blends a thrilling murder mystery with the moody, secretive worldbuilding of Leigh Bardugo's Ninth House and the complex mother-daughter relationships of White Oleander… and it’s my favorite book I’ve ever written.
While I’ve written dozens of amateur books throughout my life, I started taking my journey towards being an author seriously in 2019. Since then, I’ve rewritten two dystopian YA novels that I wanted to turn into a series (writers, we all have one, don’t we?), I wrote an upper YA fantasy, an adult witchy fantasy, and then finally… the novel that would help me land an agent. PORTRAIT OF A HAUNTING. Five books.
Each book was a lesson. Each story crept me closer to my overall goal. Since then, I’ve met authors I deeply admire, I’ve found critique partners who have become close friends, and I’ve found a community of writers that I’d be lost without. The journey has been long and it’s only just beginning, but I’m excited to see where I go next. To see where PORTRAIT OF A HAUNTING goes next.
For my friends who aren’t familiar with the traditional publishing world, being on submission means that my book is in the hands of editors across a variety of publishing imprints. There’s no set timeline for how long this could take. If this round of editors all say no, we send the book to another round, and then another. It could take weeks, months, or years before we have an answer. Publishers could decide they don’t want the book and it could ruefully “die on submission.” Nothing is certain.
However, despite all the waiting and all the uncertainty and how ugly the world seems to be lately, I feel inexplicably lucky and happy to be in this position. I have been a writer since I could hold a pencil and have wanted to be an author since I was about eight years old. Each step in this process is a dream come true, an honor I have worked so hard for. I’m a big believer in gratitude practices, manifestation, and holding onto joy. So, despite my lack of control in this process, I’m trying to hold onto that excitement as much as I can.
In the meantime… I’m nearly finished with the revision of my new book which has the working title of STEELE. This story is a Siren-inspired, adult speculative fiction that I’ve been pitching as MERMAIDS by Florence + the Machine x KILL BILL. It’s a story about survival, about consequences, and about finding someone who loves you for exactly who you are. Writing this book has been a happy distraction from being on submission. The main character is vicious, strong, and unlike anything I’ve ever written before. Being inside her mind forces me to push boundaries, to challenge myself, and helps me escape just a little. It’s not only a more complicated story, but it also features two POVs – which is something I haven’t done in years. Even so, I love it so much and I hope others do too. I’m hoping to wrap up revisions in the next few weeks, pass the book off to my critique partners, and then, once I have their feedback, pass it to my agent.
I can already feel the wisps of a new story brewing in the back of my mind. This is how all ideas begin for me: one book ends and a new one is born.
A tiny idea, a line, an image that I can’t forget.
But we’ll save that for another time…
read with me
Here are a few books I’m loving right now in no particular order. 1 million stars for each of them.
things to watch
Sadly, when I’m writing, it’s very hard for me to watch new TV or movies. It’s too distracting, so I tend to rewatch comfort shows and read. But over the holidays I took a break and here are a few things I can’t stop talking about –
let’s give back
One of my favorite indie bookstores is helping donate banned books and I wanted to give them a shoutout below. If you have a preferred bookstore that you’d like to contribute to, then I encourage you to do that! But if you’re looking for a credible place to donate, you can follow the link below
musings
I’d like to be slightly personal with this newsletter, I’d like to take a moment each time to share a little bit about me that you might not get on other social media platforms. So here are my musings as of February 2025: I am angry.
This is not original or groundbreaking or special – and if you aren’t angry, outraged, or even a teeny bit frightened, then I fear you might not be paying enough attention. I don’t say that in a controversial way or as a means to lecture. I think we are overwhelmed by the things we can’t control, so we tend to look the other way.
But I don’t have that ability. I see everything, I feel everything.
And right now, as I ready myself for what’s to come, I am angry. I won’t inundate you with a long list as to why – we all read the news and if not, we all see the headlines via IG, TikTok, or the cesspool called X. I won’t reactivate your nervous system with a list. You know what I’m talking about. Sigh.
Anger isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Not always. I believe that anger is one of the most powerful emotions and when channeled properly, it can lead to wonderful creation. Books, music, art, film, sports – you name it, I could tell you how anger or rage brought dreams to fruition. So that’s my musing for this newsletter: I am so angry and I’m going to use it as much as I can. To create, to have hard discussions, to show up for those who need me.
I’m sorry if that brings the vibes down, but I told myself when I began this journey towards traditional publishing that I would show up as myself 100% of the time. I don’t believe in doing anything without authenticity. While this Substack will be a way for me to share book news, share music and art and so many fun things, it will also be a space where I tell you how I feel.
The world is set up to make you feel like you’re failing. There are systems put in place to make us all feel like we can’t achieve. What no one tells you is that you can achieve, you can break free – it will just hurt.
It will likely be lonely. It will be hard. It’ll feel impossible. You might have to leave people behind. But no matter how held down you feel, I promise you can make positive change. You can chase any dream. The only person you need to believe in you is yourself. In a world that’s feeling so scary, I want people to remember the possibility of a better future. To believe in what they can do.
And if you’re having trouble doing so, know that I believe in you.
This will always be a safe space. I will always speak to the hatred and the misogyny and the racism and corruption that bubbles around us. My platforms, my words, and my books will always be a diverse, safe, and loving place – no matter who you are, where you come from, how you identify, or who you love. That’s one promise I know I can keep.
Big things are on their way and I can’t wait to share them, but that is all I have for now. Thank you, friend, for reading. Thank you for following along on this dream journey. I’m grateful always.
More to come
x MTN
I cannot wait to get my hands on your book!!! It sounds amazing. And I too am beyond angry, you are not alone in that!!!!!